Two Years
by Rasielle
Summary: “Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if he gave up on you today. Any normal guy would.” Lily Evans has finally decided to give James a chance, but things don’t go so smoothly. Amidst the ups and downs, can she find out what changed between them? RR
1. Bugger Off, Conscience

**Disclaimer: **Anything recognizable from the Harry Potter series doesn't belong to me, but to JK while the other stuff does.

**Summary: **"Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he gave up on you today. Any normal guy would." Lily Evans has finally decided to give James a chance, but things don't go so smoothly. Entwined in a web of complications, can Lily really figure out what changed between her and James? R/R, Sixth Year to Proposal

* * *

Chapter 1: Bugger off, Conscience

* * *

A fuming Lily Evans worked her way through the Great Hall to the Gryffindor Table and situated herself between her two best friends: Mona Bishop and Phyllis Russett.

"Oooh, that Potter has a lot of nerve," she seethed, glaring at a group of passing Hufflepuffs that were staring at her. "And _why_ he won't take 'no' for an answer is beyond me."

"That's beyond all of us, Lil," a grim Mona grumbled. Today they were going to have about three tests, meaning for once in her life Mona would have to study. This didn't really delight the raven-head. Phyllis frowned.

"Come on, Mo, he isn't that bad," coaxed Phyllis, who was sometimes too sweet and forgiving for her own good. At a death glare from Lily, however, Phyllis added hastily, "or maybe he is."

"That little airhead ... that egotistical, conceited, good-for-nothing piece of-" Lily growled, till she was cut off from a squeak from Phyllis.

Mona let out a laugh.

"You know, Sirius is just as bad, Phyl ..." Mona drawled. It was Phyllis's turn to glare; she was always so touchy when it came to talking about Sirius the Ladies' Man, since he had once dated the soft-hearted blonde and dumped her not long after.

"Don't-say-his-name!" she snarled through gritted teeth. Very out of her character. Mona just smirked and continued eating. Lily was somewhat calming down, until she saw a bespectacled, untidy-haired boy who had just entered the Great Hall heading her way.

"Oh God ..." Lily breathed. Mona choked on her chicken and wisely chose this time to head off to her Common Room ("Gotta study, you know, three huge tests, not nice...") Phyllis turned a sickly magenta at the sight of a good-looking, dark-haired and dark-eyed boy following James Potter. Lily leapt out of her chair and made to leave.

"Evans!" James called out desperately after a retreating Lily. "Come on, Evans! Peter's said sorry! Are you all right?" Lily spun around, her pretty face contorted with fury.

"Pettigrew doesn't need to be sorry, Potter! If you hadn't knocked him over, he wouldn't have ended up tripping me! _Why_ did you have to make everything a spectacle upstairs! And I thought I told you NO, I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!" she shouted. James flinched. Lily could make anything seem like his fault.

"Please Lily!"

"It's Evans to you, you stupid git ..."

"Fine, EVANS!"

All heads were turned and all eyes were locked on Lily and James, who were shouting at the top of their voices. Even the staff table was quiet with observation. Lily flushed.

"Well, if it hasn't gotten through that giant air-filled head of yours yet, Potter – NO, I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH YOU!" Once again livid, she turned on her heel and stomped away. The Great Hall was still quiet, until a great deal of murmuring broke out and talk began again. Irritated, James trudged over to the Gryffindor Table, avoiding the numerous questions being thrown at him.

"Another day, another gracious rejection thrown by our Lovely Lily." Sirius sighed sarcastically. James could've punched him, had he not been too humiliated to even speak.

* * *

Mona, who had returned to the Great Hall during the middle of Lily and James's conversation, was waiting for the redhead at the Hall entrance. Her eyebrows were raised absurdly high and she was snickering.

"What are you laughing about, Bishop?" Lily snapped, Mona following behind her.

"I know you probably don't want to look at the airhead again, but the look on his face was priceless ..."

"Was it?" Lily smirked.

"He did a good job of making it look like he was angry though. Some of the not-too-thick students out there could probably tell that he was actually feeling dejected and humiliated."

"Really?" Lily asked slowly. Her conscience was once again manipulating her.

"Yeah! It was great!" Mona couldn't help it sometimes, but she was dreadfully insensitive. This was the reason that if it weren't for Lily, she and Phyllis would've already killed each other.

"Well, he'll get over it, right?" Lily asked, fighting against the anxious tone that was threatening to seep into her voice. Mona looked carefully at the redhead's slightly-pink face.

"You're not actually I worried /I about him, are you?"

"No!" But Lily's reply had been too quick and Mona wasn't dense.

"Yes, you are ... oh my God, you are!" Mona let out a loud, long laugh. Lily stepped defiantly on her foot. She wasn't I worried /I about Potter ... no, how could she be? She rejected him like this everyday!

_But it'll get to him eventually... _thought her conscience.

_Oh shut it, you worthless thing! _Lily snapped inside. Her conscience only tutted (mentally).

_Did he really deserve that? Just for asking you out? _it nagged yet again.

_And for getting me tripped in front of everyone! _Lily thought desperately. The conscience shook its head (yet again, mentally. I don't know about you, but I can't see how a voice can shake its head...)

_Ha! If Phyllis or Mona tripped you, you probably couldn't care less! What makes it so different with Crackpot?_

_It's Potter, not Crackpot_, Lily thought absently, a few seconds later to her horror and shock.

_Aha! I prove triumphant! You were just putting on a show to humiliate him, weren't you, Lily? Weren't you?_

_Um ... I have no idea what you're talking about! _Lily countered frantically. If she weren't to busy with her self-conflict, she would've been rather worried for her sanity. She didn't really know if arguing with a taunting voice in your head was exactly healthy.

_Yes you do, and you did a pretty good job of it too from the look on his face ... look who's talking about arrogant jerks now!_

_Will you please just BUGGER off?!_

_Not until I get my point across. I know you despise how he can be such a self-centered prat, but he can change. Anybody can change. He'll realize that soon enough. Heaven knows, he may even stop messing up his hair! God, that would cap off all things good! But back to talking sensibly, maybe getting to know him will help him change, since he's so freakishly obsessed over you. No matter how long you've been living with this idea, he isn't hopeless. Not hopeless yet._

Lily stopped walking. Maybe there was the answer of all things. Letting him CHANGE. Getting to know him bet – Lily screamed internally so loud, that outside it came out as a small shriek. Get to know James Potter better, my arse! Lily thought. But maybe it wouldn't come out totally fruitless. Maybe he could deflate his head a bit ... if not a lot.

And goodness, Lily thought irresistibly, the day he DID stop running his hand through his hair would be worth it _all_.

**--- A/N --- **Sorry about this being so short, but this is probably the shortest chapter there will be. I know the conscience thing is kinda double-personality and a bit past sane, but it does have a nice effect, don't you think? And Lily is not going crazy, sorry to disappoint you. But come to think of it, I might just right a one-shot along those lines someday... anyway, I hoped it wasn't so horrible that you won't review –cough, cough-, 'cause I'd GLADLY acknowledge you with a reply in my A/N, which is currently useless to me. Unless you enjoy my endless rambling about my own personal issues, but just email me and you'll find that I ramble on more than you know.

REVIEW! That said, I am getting offline for a bit of sleep now... _tired_...


	2. First Attempt

**Disclaimer:** Meh, you know the drill. What looks like JKR's is JKR's, what looks like mine is mine.

**A/N:** Texasisforlobsters - Thanks! I'm glad you liked it so much... actually, I have Chapter 3 done already and half of Chapter 4 and I know my whole plot so I just have to put everything together... lol, I hope you all won't have to wait too long. School is a killer.

Babigirl2246 - I'm glad you liked how it went. Despite the cliché-ness of it, it does occur that James gives up, but only temporarily. And as you can guess, poor little Lily-poo was behind the give-up-already-Potter thing. And she rues it laughs evilly

KLLRS - Lol, I hope I didn't go overboard with Mona's insensitivity, but that's one of the things that stand out about her apart from her sarcastic sense of humor. She does have a softer side, especially when it comes to her friends. You'll see that side in many chapters to come :)

Wren Craven - Omg, thanks! My ego is now very over-stuffed, but I'm not complaining I'm glad you liked the split personality part too, because some people might find that really weird. But weird is fun. I can't wait to take a look at your work, and I promise I'll review.

* * *

Chapter 2: First Attempt

* * *

After much contemplating, Lily decided with a sigh to try to get along with James. And maybe let slip how great it would be if he deflated his head a little. One night in the Gryffindor girls' dorm, she confided her decision with Mona and Phyllis.

"WHAT?! _Lily, have you gone mad?!_" Mona gasped. Again, she wasn't exactly the most understanding person Lily knew. However, Phyllis was beaming.

"Oh, that's great Lily! You're right, maybe befriending James will let him change," Phyllis said, delighted. Mona rounded on the blonde, dark eyes wide.

"Come on now, Phyl, you're not still on the peace thing, are you?" she said, exasperated. Phyllis didn't answer her. Instead, she spoke again to Lily.

"Don't worry, Lily, I'll do whatever I can to help. I'm behind your decision one hundred percent." The petite blonde grinned again. Lily smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, Phyl. At least I have one friend who's being supportive."

Lily stared at Mona hard. The ravenhead's eyebrows shot up and there was a long silence. Suddenly, Mona signed in resignation, indicating surrender.

"Even though I can't say that's what I'd choose, you're still my best friend Lil, so I guess I'm with you and Phyl on this one. But don't get carried away, okay? Change takes time," Mona said, with a softness she didn't usually have.

"Thanks, you two. So where to begin?"

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, while the Marauders were all eagerly deciding on their plans for next week's full moon, James saw a certain redhead heading her way towards them upon entering the Great Hall.

"Potter. Black. Pettigrew. Lupin." she said, acknowledging them each with a greeting nod. The four Marauders stared up at her. "Mind if I sit here?" she said, nodding at the unoccupied seat beside James.

"Um, hey Evans," Sirius said slowly. "Why?"

"Yeah. Why? Got another rejection?" James said brutally. Obviously he hadn't forgiven her for the Great Hall display. Lily's brilliantly green eyes flickered with hurt.

"Well ... all right. Stupid me for thinking that you could actually have a heart!" she said heatedly before making to walk off. James shook his head hurriedly.

"NO! No, sorry! Yeah, come and sit with us." He scooted over a bit more. Smiling faintly, Lily sat down beside him.

"So ... here to kiss and make up, Evans?" James teased. A playful slap on his arm was her answer. Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged surprised looks.

"So, Lily, what brought you to sit with us?" Remus asked her politely. He was the only Marauder that Lily allowed to call her by her first name.

"I just thought that maybe I could get to know you all better. You know, to stop future displays." She eyed James particularly. He squirmed.

They continued on more amiable talk, from James mostly. After breakfast or so, the rest of the Marauders felt more comfortable talking to Lily and decided to enter the conversation. To the great surprise of Mona, Phyllis, and the Marauders, Lily decided to walk with James to their classes.

But these mutual feelings of respect didn't last long.

* * *

Outside and on their way to Care of Magical Creatures, Severus Snape snuck up behind Lily and James and attempted to curse James. He had actually managed a bleeding slash on James's right cheek before he whipped around and knocked him over with "_Impedimenta!_" Lily let out a startled shriek and fell onto the damp earth.

"What the - !" she exclaimed, looking wildly over at a mightily pissed-off James to a vengeful-looking Snape. "What was that for?" she asked incredulously to the Slytherin. "And you," she said, rounding on James, "don't you think you were going over the top there? It's just a slash." James offered her a hand to get up, but she scowled and got up herself without help.

"Sod off, Potter, I can get up on my own, thank you very much. Now what's going on?" But James was already raising his wand and aiming it at Snape, who was glaring daggers at him. Lily shoved James's wand hand down.

"What do you all think you're doing?"

"But, Lily –"

"_EVANS_."

"All right, _Evans_, you –"

Lily shook her flaming-red head in angry surrender.

"I don't know why I try," she fumed. "Forget it. Just forget it. I've got to go and meet Mona and Phyllis for class. I can walk to the clearing on my own." And she stalked away to Mona and Phyllis, who were just standing there bemused near the edge of the clearing.

"What happened?" Phyllis said anxiously. Mona just shook her head disdainfully at the naïve blonde.

"You can't tell when it's over, can you Phyllis?"

"I wasn't talking to you, Mo, I was talking to LILY. So what happened?" she added to the grumpy redhead.

Lily snorted derisively, confirming Mona's suspicions.

"Potter and Snape started dueling and I accidentally got into the middle of it. Stupid gits, aren't they?" She was steadily getting redder in her fury as she began taking notes of the Crup Professor Kettleburn was bringing out. Mona nodded in agreement while Phyllis went quiet.

"Evans!" called out a familiar voice from somewhere behind Lily. Lily sighed and pretended to ignore it. Her temper was resurfacing itself again. She furiously scribbled her sketch of the Crup to avoid looking at anybody in particular.

"Evans!"

No response from Lily. Phyllis, however, turned and smiled sweetly at James, who was hurrying up to the padding.

"Hullo, James. How are you –" But she was cut off by a scathing Mona.

"Is it true you and that greasy-haired Slytherin started dueling? Who won?" said the ravenhead. James shrugged that off.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is Evans."

This sweet statement got Phyllis, Mona, and Lily quiet, including some other students lingering nearby. Some students catcalled and whistled appreciatively.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said with a forced and deadly calm, finally turning around to face James. He watched her coolly, his expression hard to read.

"I mean, you stormed off over there when I was about to apologize."

"Apologize?" Lily said incredulously. Phyllis and Mona were wide-eyed. James Potter, _apologize_?! This bemused and touched Lily deeply.

"Yes, apologize. I'm sorry I was acting like a total jerk over there, I'm sorry I got you into it involuntarily, and I'm just... sorry. Forgive me?" His voice was rich and sincere, while his hazel eyes shone with a softness the great James Potter rarely revealed. Lily wondered why he couldn't show this side of him so often. However, she kept her mask up and upheld her dignity.

"That's quite all right, Potter. I forgive you. Now would you please go? You're drawing attention."

As Lily turned back to her Crup sketch, she didn't notice James's hurt expression and the incredulous ones on her friends' and classmates' faces. Clearly, she hadn't thought twice before using such a calm tone that it was almost cold – and was literally chilling after a sweet apology like that.

* * *

After Care of Magical Creatures, Mona and Phyllis each took one of Lily's arms and roughly hauled her behind a small clump of trees. Each wore an uncharacteristic expression of severity and stared at her sharply. Baffled, Lily stared back at them blankly.

"What?" she asked.

"Lily, ARE – YOU – CRAZY?" Mona seethed, trembling as though desiring to shake the sense into the stubborn redhead. Phyllis gave Mona a pointed glance, but also looked at Lily incredulously.

"Be sensible, Mo, and don't hurt her. Lily, you don't know what you did, do you?" Phyllis said. Mona glared at her. Lily just stared blankly back. _What was this,_ she thought desperately. _Are they holding me ransom?_

"Let me go," Lily snapped. Mona and Phyllis only held her against the tree tighter.

"No," Mona said simply, her eyes flashing. Phyllis continued talking.

"Do you know how often James Potter, Quidditch King and Nightmare of the Slytherins, _apologizes_? No, I suppose you don't. Rarely, almost never! And back there, he practically reduced himself into your _slave_. And what do you do? '_Oh, I forgive you, now go away, you're drawing attention,_' Not only would that hurt for the average guy, but when it comes to James Potter it hurts ten times as bad. He's not used to that. And it would hurt about twenty times more, considering how sincere and humble he was when apologizing. Actually, Lily, I wouldn't be surprised if he gave up on you today. Any normal guy would."

There was a stunned silence. Lily stopped struggling and just stared at Phyllis, guilt and remorse shining through her eyes, darkening their emerald glow. Phyllis and Mona exchanged sad glances and let go of Lily, but Lily didn't move. She just stood there, scavenging for a solution.

Her head shot up. She knew doing this would probably stain her fiery reputation forever, but she couldn't stand hurting Potter this bad. It was hard to have that on your conscience.

"Thanks, Phyl," she said hurriedly, before dashing off into the grounds. Mona and Phyllis stared after her, dumbstruck, not even bothering to follow her.

"And after all that, Phyl, that's _all she says_," Mona said uncomprehendingly. Phyllis just shook her head, a few of her platinum blonde tresses falling onto her face.

Lily continued running, searching frantically for a dark-haired boy with tousled hair. "Potter! POTTER!"

Heads turned and several eyes stared at Lily, some just blank and others full of scorn. Some random Hufflepuff girls glared at her as she crossed the grounds. Knowing they were a part of James' female fan club, she ignored them.

_Think, Lily, where would he be?_ Lily thought, stopping her run to take a breath and think. _With his Marauders... by the lake!_

And so Lily ran to the lake.

* * *

She was right. James was there, sitting under a tree with Peter, Remus, and Sirius. The last three were talking animatedly while James stared at the water. He didn't even look up and when he Lily approach, although Sirius, Remus, and Peter stopped talking at the sight of her.

"Potter! There you are! Look, if you would listen..." Lily trailed off, gazing at him. He was ignoring her, just staring at the surface of the lake.

"Hello? Potter? Are you giving me the silent – "

But she was cut off by James, who was fuming. "Evans, who do you think you are? You scream at me for getting you into a small duel, then shrug me off when I apologize! And now you run over here, probably looking for forgiveness. What are you going to do next, slap me for trying to do your bidding?"

_SLAP._

Sirius', Remus', and Peter's jaws all dropped in shock, even if they knew that was coming. Despite his pink cheek, James didn't even look at Lily. He barely flinched, but just stared relentlessly at the lake. Lily was livid.

"JAMES POTTER. If you would take a _second_ to listen to me, then you'd understand. I am sorry. I ran over here to tell you that, but _nooo_, my apologies don't matter. But I won't dignify your rambling with my own sentiments. I'll say what I came here to say. I AM SORRY. Sorry for hurting you daily, sorry for hurting you twenty times as bad today, and sorry that you had to like someone like me. Don't forgive me if you don't want to, because I understand. Go ahead and give up on me, I know you want to. I'll act like I don't care, if by some off-chance I do."

Words said, she ramped across the grounds to meet Phyllis and Mona for their next classes.

* * *

James couldn't move. He wasn't surprised when Lily slapped him, knowing that her dragon-like temper was steadily rising while he spoke. But Lily's speech... he was wordless. Did she really care if he gave up on her? She was sorry that he I liked her?

James nearly cricked his neck as he turned to stare at her. She was already stalking off, clearly in a huff. Despite himself, he smiled. She was so lovely in a temper, giving off a sort of strength and defiance that he could never find among his female fan clubs. He felt his friends' eyes on him, but he didn't care.

Would Lily really care if he would give up on her?

_Yes she would_, he thought ecstatically, without a doubt. _Lily cared._

**A/N:** Forgive me if you found the ransom thing with Lily a bit strange, but it was fun to write. Really fun. It brings memories. But anyway, everything here is kind of rushed, sorry for that, but I was pressed on time. The good news is that I've got Chapter 3 ready to upload and half of Chapter 3 free for editing. 3 and a half out of 36 chapters. Gosh, I need to pick up the pace...

So review! Please!


	3. Second Attempt

**Disclaimer:** Aren't these annoying? JKR's is JKR's, while the rest is MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE.

**A/N:** Yay! New reviewers! Kudos to all of you! I hope you enjoy this next chapter! To let you know, half of chapter 4 is completed!

pokefreaks13 – Thanks! I'm so glad that you're all enjoying it!

Angulgurl – Another happy reviewer... I could cry... I hope I don't disappoint anyone with this next chapter. I'm writing longer chapters now :)

evilpillow – Lol, Chapter Three is here! I don't believe in updating every five weeks or so, so I hope no one has to wait too long. Enjoy!

Babigirl2246 – Thanks for reviewing again! I'm glad you like the variety, and I'm going to write with more events now... hopefully it works out okay.

You reviewers are awesome... I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

* * *

Chapter 3: Second Attempt

Lily's rancid mood continued on for the rest of the week; the little apologizing fiasco had a most unpredictable aftermath. Although everyone expected James to give up on Lily or to hold a grudge against her, he only chased after her more persistently. Every chance he got, he tried to stir conversation with her and although she sometimes found him charming conversation, she never told him so. Apparently, she was still intent on keeping up the impression that she was still mad at him. Which no one with a brain could believe.

Thursday afternoon in the Common Room while Lily and James were off to do Head Girl and Head Boy duties, Mona, Phyllis, Sirius, Remus, and Peter decided to study together. Phyllis and Peter were working on their History of Magic essays, Sirius and Remus playing wizard's chess, and Mona was cheering them on enthusiastically. Clearly, she had stuffed herself silly with thick bars of caramel that day at lunch, always accompanied with Butterbeer.

"C3, Remus, C3!" she yelled, her voice slightly slurred by all the Butterbeer she had. Remus snorted with laughter, shaking his head. He ordered his bishop to E5, where it ruthlessly bashed Sirius's pawn. Mona's face fell.

"What did you do that for?" she asked angrily.

"I have my reasons, Mo. Do you honestly think me to take chess advice from someone who swigged five bottles of Butterbeer in one afternoon?"

"Four and a half, Lupin, _four and a half_!"

"No difference."

Mona grimaced and prodded Sirius in the shoulder impatiently.

"Is he always this annoying?"

Sirius smirked, but a slight dash of pink seeped into his cheeks. No one noticed, as he laughed outwardly when his knight stabbed Remus' bishop repeatedly, forcing his blush away.

"Hey, keep it down over there! Some of us are trying to work..." Peter mumbled, twirling his quill absently.

"We're as quiet as mice, Pettigrew, so stop your whining!" Mona shouted, making Remus flinch. "Please, Mona, lay off the Butterbeer next time."

She simply scowled at Remus. "Sod it, you bloody cretin."

"Did you get how the Goblin Affairs started?" Peter asked Phyllis, puzzled. Phyllis didn't answer, but continued scrawling furiously at her work. "Nng." was her reply.

Scratching his nose with his quill, he craned his neck to see her work over her shoulder. Abruptly, she snatched it out of view.

"Peter, you wanker, keep your bloody eyes on your own work before I snatch them out." she snapped, frowning at her parchment. Peter made a face at her before turning back to his own work.

"Phyl, I didn't know you were an insufferable grouch while working," Sirius laughed, glancing over at her. Her head shot up and she glared at him, her icy blue eyes blazing mercilessly. Her face practically spelled out fury and contempt.

"Whatever, Black. Whatever." she replied sourly, turning back to her essay. Sirius gestured questioningly to Mona and Remus, who both shrugged nonchalantly.

"She still hasn't forgiven you, Sirius," Remus said softly. Mona tilted her head slightly, thinking.

"I doubt she ever will." she said thoughtfully, glancing at him. Sirius nodded distractedly, gazing at the chessboard. "Your move, Moony," he said to Remus.

"You know, I don't know why Lily hates you guys. You're not that bad," Mona said absently, watching Remus' queen step on the remains of Sirius' knight. Remus nodded absently, his mind on something else. Sirius looked up for a brief moment, stared at Mona, who was undeniably pretty to him, and returned to the game. He had tuned in just in time to see Remus making his way to his queen. "Bloody hell, Moony, show some mercy, will you?"

Eventually, Remus won the match and the satisfaction of watching Mona bash Sirius to pieces. Her moods were always in their extremes after a session of Butterbeer, and it was quite entertaining to watch her vent her frustrations after seeing her drink so much Butterbeer.

"My god, Sirius, aren't you an idiot! Losing to a lunatic like Remus... I am ashamed. He's always acting like he knows things we don't and there you go, losing to him in chess! I mean, _Lily_ could beat him in chess, I've seen her do it! And you do know Lily sucks at chess, right? If she sucks, what do you think that makes you?"

In time, everyone was able to tune her out.

Meanwhile, Peter was desperate for some History of Magic answers.

"Who were the goblins that filed the Equal Rights document?"

"Nng."

"I think Dulfry the Desperate was one... what did you put?"

"NNG. I'm working."

"Awww, come on Phyl, just one name...?"

"_BUGGER IT, PETE, YOU MADE ME SPELL 'IRREFUTABLE' WRONG!_"

Peter had opened his mouth furiously to retaliate before the portrait hole burst open, revealing an outraged Lily and an exasperated James.

"If you _think_ I'm going through with this, then that just proves it!" she stormed, whirling around to glare at him. Her glare was so fierce that Sirius, Remus, and Peter had to cringe.

"Proves what, Evans?" James said, frustrated.

"That you're an insane git who's desperate for a date!" Lily raged. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Phyllis, and Mona jumped at the word 'date'. Lily and James were going on a date!?

"Well, you did need an escort to Hogsmeade and Dumbledore liked the idea!" James retorted, unable to hide a faint grin. Lily's emerald eyes widened.

"YOU ARE _UNBELIEVABLE_!" she screeched, before turning on her heel and stalking up to the girls' dorms. James stared after her for a moment, unmoving and jaw slack, then collapsed onto the couch by the fireplace, fuming.

"Er," Sirius started uneasily. "I guess this isn't a good time to ask what just happened..."

"What do you think!" James spat, burying his face in his hands. Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged looks before awkwardly returning to Phyllis and Mona.

"I'm going to talk to Lily before she rips the other girls apart," she said finally, standing up. James glared at her through a small gap in his hands.

"What, are you going to console her for going out with a jerk like me?" James shot. Phyllis shook her head impatiently.

"Hell, James, don't bite my head off, please. It's just that, knowing Lily I know she's going to take out all her anger on someone innocent – and well, I wanna make sure it's not Eleanor and Ramona."

Everyone watched as Phyllis hurried up the stairs, before Mona stood up too. "I'm one of her best friends, you guys, so I think I have to make sure she doesn't end up in Azkaban too. See you around," she nodded and followed Phyllis up the stairs.

There was a long moment of awkward silence. Finally, Remus spoke.

"Is it just me, or is this Lily-James ordeal becoming exceptionally tiring?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Prongs must be off his rocker, Moony, to have fallen for a girl like that."

* * *

Eleanor Harper and Ramona Franworth exchanged frightened glances as they watched Lily pace around the dorm, raging and glaring daggers at everything, animate or inanimate. They knew of the famous redhead tempers, but were alarmed to see Lily like this. But then again, it wasn't so surprising. Although she was usually good-natured and easygoing, her quick temper was always borderline. Everyone knew that once it started it never stopped.

"I cannot _believe_ him... he volunteered himself to accompany me in Hogsmeade, for Head Girl duties! It could've been anybody, like Frank Longbottom or Ethan Prewett, but nooo... it's always Potter! And you know what Dumbledore does, he does the most impossible thing, he... ARE YOU LISTENING!?"

Eleanor, who had managed to tune her out by staring around the room, jumped and looked up at Lily. "Uh, yeah Lily, we share your sentiments." she said dramatically.

But Ramona was shaking her head, smiling slightly. Lily rounded on her, glaring sternly.

"And what is your problem, Franworth?"

"Oh, Lily, you don't see it, do you? Why do you think he does all these things?"

Lily stared at her for a long beat, then reddened.

"To annoy me." she replied stoutly.

"You know that's not it."

"Just get to the point!"

"I don't know why you hate him so bad. He's changed. He doesn't hex people in the corridors for fun anymore. He's... grown up. A little. Sure, some things he says are slightly egotistic, but he means it in a joking way," Ramona said with a sweet tone that clearly said 'Shut up and listen, I'm in my element'.

Eleanor nodded knowingly. Lily just stared. _Was that even possible?_ she thought, until it began to sink in. _She's not lying... he has changed. But I haven't._

"That's his issue, isn't it? Until I see that he's truly changed, I'm not giving in. He can flirt all he wants, but it won't get him anywhere," Lily said haughtily.

Eleanor and Ramona exchanged exasperated glances. "Well, I tried," Ramona said under her breath.

The door opened and Phyllis and Mona stepped in, looking tired and annoyed. "You two all right?" Mona asked.

"We're just fine. Luckily, Lily realized that jinxing people doesn't really solve problems." Eleanor said, smiling. Lily threw her a dirty look.

"Whew," said Phyllis. "Personally, Lily, I don't feel like being friends with a serial killer. It's a scary thing."

Mona nodded solemnly in agreement. Lily decided to ignore these joking comments.

"I cannot believe Potter! Do you know what he did!?"

"Actually, no. We figured that asking would be a blunt death wish," Phyllis said.

Lily narrowed her eyes at her two best friends, daring them to make another crack. Under the power of her gaze, Phyllis and Mona instantly looked down, Mona saying hastily, "We're hushing, we're hushing."

"To start, you do know I have Head Girl duties in Hogsmeade, right? It was James' brilliant idea to _accompany_ me!"

Phyllis and Mona stared blankly at her for a moment, not saying anything. For a second it looked as though Phyllis would say something, because she opened and closed her mouth several times, before Mona actually spoke.

"Well..." she started tentatively. "... is this supposed to mean anything? Him walking you to Hogsmeade?"

Lily's jaw dropped as Eleanor and Ramona burst into peals of laughter. Lily's eyes widened, making Phyllis and Mona feel incredibly stupid.

"Oooh, you two are in for it," Eleanor said as Ramona warned, "Brace yourselves."

"_ARE YOU DENSE!? DO YOU TWO TAKE THIS AS A JOKE!? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?_" she shouted incredulously. She got a shrug out of Mona and a sputter of indignity from Phyllis.

"It means," Lily said, smarting. "that James and I are going on a _date._"

Phyllis' and Mona's jaws dropped. Although Lily was giving off a dangerously furious radiation, Eleanor and Ramona were howling with laughter. Swallowing their din of mirth, they rushed out of the room, leaving Phyllis and Mona to resume the chain of laughter.

"Are you kidding?" Mona asked, her lips twitching as though desperately itching to break into a smile. Phyllis shook her head, flashing a knowing smile at Lily. The redhead flushed.

"I never thought I'd see the day..." Phyllis added, now beaming. Mona snorted with laughter, and that broke the restraint. Both girls flew into completely inappropriate fits of laughter, letting Lily fume.

"Well, I don't see anything amusing about this, you two dolts."

The blonde and the ravenhead laughed their last chortles before beaming perceptively at Lily, probably imagining the lovely family she and James would have. However, Lily was oblivious to their musings and thought they were mocking her.

Lily sniffed and hustled out of the room, her head held high. Phyllis and Mona exchanged amused looks.

"Bet you 5 Galleons she'll make him look like Snape," Phyllis said at the exact same moment Mona said, "Bet you 5 Galleons she'll make him talk backwards all day."

"You're on," Mona agreed, shaking Phyllis's hand with mock formality.

* * *

The Marauders' reactions were quite similar to Phyllis's and Mona's: amusing incredulity, then endless laughter. During the whole telling, James stared miserably at the warm fire, willing it to turn into Lily Evans's face, smiling blissfully back at him. Eventually, the Marauders' laughter subsided and they all stared at him, smiling evilly.

"So Prongsie, boy, what's the plan?" asked Sirius gleefully. James didn't look up.

"What plan?" he asked dully.

"Of what to do during the date! Where to go, what to say, you know, all that crap."

"It's not a date, Siri. It's a day full of Head Girl duties." James muttered, still not looking up. Sirius shook his head pityingly, as though James was but a little boy crying over spilt milk. Remus, however, looked thoughtful.

"It may not be a date, Prongs, but it certainly is what you and Lily need. Just a day of light conversation and little pleasures, not romantic candlelight and sweet talk. If you just talk and treat her like an equal rather than a trophy, then she may not come back in a fury at the end of the day. You never really know with these things," he said, still reading _A Guide Against the Dark Arts_ and not looking up from the page. Sirius turned to scowl at his friend.

"And how do you know all of this '_What Lily needs_' drivel?"

"Think about it, Padfoot," Remus said delightfully, finally looking up from his book to smile benignly at Sirius. "I am the only Marauder who has her permission to call her Lily, am I right?"

James grimaced at him and threw a pillow that smacked him in the face.

* * *

To James, the days before Hogsmeade dragged on too long. To Lily, the days before Hogsmeade went by too fast. Either way, Hogsmeade came on a bright Saturday afternoon. While Lily and James would be doing Head Boy and Girl duties, Phyllis and Mona would be visiting Hogsmeade with Sirius and Remus, just for fun. And also to spy – wait no, spy is too harsh a word... _observe_ is more like it – the royal couple.

Miraculously, Phyllis and Mona were able to drag an extremely reluctant Lily down to Honeydukes, where she would be meeting James. Although Mona came out red and irritable and Phyllis uncharacteristically grouchy and fearful, Lily had left both unscathed. When Lily had turned her back, the two decided to make it that she looked a bit less disheveled and magicked her hair neat and glossy and her robes smooth and velvety. Before heading off to meet Sirius and Remus in the Three Broomsticks, they prayed desperately that Lily wouldn't find out, or it'd be their heads.

Head held high and wearing a glare that says 'Keep out of my way if you want to keep your legs', Lily met James near one of the chocolate shelves. She laughed to herself when she saw that he had attempted to tidy his hair, but to no avail. But she did have to admit that it looked neater than usual.

"Hello, Potter," she said formally. He turned and smiled cheekily at her like he usually did in greeting.

"Ah, Evans. I see you've tidied up. Willing to make an impression, are we?"

Lily raised an eyebrow and looked down at her robes. They were sleek and even, as opposed to how they were before when she had attempted to hex the living daylights out of Mona and Phyllis. Realizing what the two had done, Lily made a severe mental note to brutally murder them later.

"Hmph. Still think you're funny, don't you Potter? Don't pretend that your hair just mellowed itself on its own, you git."

"Why, Evans, you noticed!" James smiled that impish smile again, daring her to talk back. Lily flushed, flustered. She could never say anything right when he was smiling like that. She didn't know why; maybe she always got too angry to speak right when he did that, or it was just... something else. Something she couldn't fathom.

"Well, Potter, let's get this over and done with, why don't we?"

"Very well, your Majesty," he replied sarcastically as they walked through Hogsmeade, still smiling that damn smile. She couldn't keep her mind off it, how it annoyed her to no end, yet... she couldn't take her eyes off of it either. He noticed her staring and raised his eyebrows.

"And you say I stare, Evans."

"Wha-what? I wasn't staring, I was just..." she trailed off, knowing that James wouldn't believe any excuse she could pull from the back of her mind. They walked through Hogsmeade together, occasionally commenting on the most random things. To everyone's surprise, they strolled around Hogsmeade, laughing. And with Lily laughing _voluntarily_.

However, both came to a stop, something suddenly dawning on them. Lily frowned in bewilderment, while James smiled in comprehension.

"What were the errands I was supposed to do that Dumbledore mentioned? How come - what, what is it?" Lily asked him impatiently, watching him smirk. He looked down at Lily, his hazel eyes twinkling mischievously (A/N: Although I know that he is supposed to be near Harry's height, who is not really tall, I still like to pretend James is. So please, just play along...).

"Nuh uh, Lils, I'm not telling. But I have to say, I always thought that Dumbledore was a great man..."

"What, Potter? Tell me."

"I will tell if you call me James."

"Fine, _James_. Now what do you know that I don't?"

"I'll tell if you let me kiss you."

"Don't push it, James."

"Awww... just one time, Lils? Please?"

"NO. Now answer my question."

"You mean the one that went, 'Does my darling James know that I, Lily Evans, have loved him since the instant I set eyes on him?'"

"Quit pushing your luck, Potter."

"Fine, fine. Grouch."

"Git."

"Spitfire."

"Wow, Potter, that's probably the most flattering thing you've said to me at all today."

"I can beat that."

"Then by all means, do try."

Taking a deep breath, James closed his eyes for a moment, exhaled, and then hesitantly opened his mouth.

"Lily, every time I see you, I'm practically blinded by your beauty, and I lose all words. I know I hide it well, but every moment with you drives me crazily nervous, makes me frantic inside. The way you smile, all the strength you give off. I go crazy. And honestly, you look loveliest when you're furious. You give off such a strong sense of determination and energy that I don't care if your anger is directed at me. Everything about you... everything... is..." he struggled for the word. "Everything about you is ethereal."

There was a stunned pause following his speech, James gazing at Lily lovingly and Lily staring back in astonishment, jaw slack. She looked like she was actually going to smile, and her bright green eyes danced, until the admiring glow in her eyes dulled, only to be replaced by a stony coldness. James' heart plunged. He had been as heartfelt as he could, desperately searching for the right words to describe Lily, although he knew there were none and never could be. In his eyes, she was simply beyond words.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Potter," she said coldly, glaring at him. James' smile vanished.

She spun on her heel and started to walk away until James' imploring voice stopped her. And stopped her is putting it mildly.

"I meant it."

Lily's heart skipped a beat. He meant it? Potter really meant all that? Could _James Potter _possibly say something so lyrical and... mean it?

Despite herself, a few tears welled up in her eyes, no matter how frantically she willed them away. She couldn't let Potter see her cry, he had always thought she was so strong and she couldn't blow it now... but his words rang in her head and warmed her up inside. No one had ever said anything to compare with what James had just said. Absolutely nothing.

Even if he told her she had eyes like a goddess, hair like a nymph, or a complexion like an angel's, it wouldn't have affected her as well as what he had just confessed to her. Blinking back her tears, she turned to face him and watched him carefully.

"You... you really meant that?"

James nodded, smiling faintly. Lily blinked a bit more and stared up at him, starting to smile.

"Even the part about how I seem when I'm furious?"

James laughed and hugged Lily, and to his surprise she hugged him back. He had wanted it to be brief, as to make his risk of death smaller, but found he couldn't. She was hugging him back. How could he let her go?

Lily pulled away gently and surveyed him awkwardly. Passerby (particularly Hogwarts students that knew them) were now gawking at the two and whispering intently, but James and Lily ignored them. All Lily cared about was what James would do next and all he cared about was making sure he didn't make an arse of himself during that rare moment.

James half-smiled, suddenly feeling uneasy. "So."

"So."

Silence. Then –

"The Three Broomsticks, then?" James suggested.

"The Three Broomsticks," Lily agreed, walking with him down the road. He glanced at her and she him, but both remained completely silent.

Suddenly, the comfortable atmosphere between the two was gone.

**A/N: **By my standards, I'd say this was a good chapter. Very mushy and dramatic, but that's what makes a romance, right? Love is an odd thing. But it does get a little angsty, since both Lily and James are confused about one another. Hehehe... Lily has a little crush... Now, the next chapter is just a bunch of stuff James says to Sirius and Remus that make you think. And a little something else. ::snickers evilly::

So please review! I Heart Reviews!


	4. Never Giving Up

**Disclaimer:** Writing this repeatedly is annoying... JKR's is JKR's, while the rest is MINE. MINE. MINE. MINE.

**A/N:** Anything.

* * *

**Chapter 4:** Never Giving Up

* * *

It was as if the Hogsmeade date hadn't even happened. Much to everyone's frustration and dismay, Lily was still refusing to give James a chance and James was still stuck on her like a moonstruck pup. Although Lily and James told everyone about their "date" (after all, James wouldn't shut up about it and Lily could never stop contradicting his far-fetched versions), no one could understand how they could've been so... _usual_ to each other. It brought Sirius, Remus, Peter, Mona, and Phyllis great disturbance to just think about it.

No one had ever seen one of Dumbledore's clever plots become unsuccessful.

One night in the Common Room, Lily, Mona, and Phyllis sat around the fireplace, idly chatting and doing homework. Predictably, Lily was ranting endlessly about one of James' impractical tactics and Mona was forced to listen, lest she face a redhead's wrath. Of course, Phyllis simply sat erect in her armchair, listening to no one, working relentlessly on her essay.

"And you know what that jerk does? He takes the glass cup I was trying to Transfigure into a pair of glasses and turns it into a bunch of violets! I was only so lucky that McGonagall saw the whole thing and didn't fail me! Can you believe it? I do bad enough in that class without Potter messing things up! I just wish that I – Mo? MO!? Listen to me!" Lily demanded.

Mona jerked horribly in her seat and looked up, blinking sleepily.

"Erm, yeah, despicable git, Lils, of course..." she yawned widely, her eyelids drooping.

Lily nodded promptly, returning to her rant, still supremely under the impression that Mona was paying rapt attention to her issues. Instantly tuning the redhead out, Mona glanced over Phyllis's shoulder at her essay. Unsurprisingly, Phyllis snatched it out of view.

"Oh, come on, Phyl, I already finished mine. A peek won't hurt."

"Mona Pristina Bishop, must I inform you of a little something called _privacy_?"

"Come off it, Phyllis, I told you, I already did my work. And don't ever use my middle name again or I'll permanently hex your pretty blonde curls into something that'll make Medusa look like a model," Mona retorted, flushing angrily at the sound of her middle name. The platinum blonde sniffed and returned to her essay, which she was doing with her head bent protectively over the parchment.

Just as Mona had guessed, Lily was still ranting. Her face was flushed and a few wisps of her fiery hair were falling out of its tousled bun, framing her face lightly. She took a deep, easing breath and slowly her face lost its furious blush. Frowning miserably, she gazed imploringly at Mona and Phyllis.

Mona and Phyllis (which was surprising, considering her determination to get her schoolwork done) both looked up and stared sympathetically at Lily.

"Lils," Phyllis began, until Lily cut her off with an impatient wave of her hand.

"This is just so tiring. Maybe Potter should think about giving up on me, because I know it's completely impossible. He just hasn't... changed enough for me, is all. We can't keep playing this ridiculous game forever. He has a life, and I have a life, and his chasing after me will always be useless. I just want to save him the trouble of a true heartbreak."

Mona and Phyllis exchanged final glances and gazed at Lily understandingly.

"Even though I still think he deserves a chance, it's your choice, and you can always count us behind you." Mona said hesitantly. Phyllis nodded approvingly.

"Although James will never understand it, there are some things we have to let go. His chase is just a game, and will never become anything more than that," she said consolingly. Lily smiled appreciatively at her two best friends, but it was half-hearted.

No matter how relieved she would be when James would decide to give up on her, she couldn't help feeling empty inside. As though she would never feel emotionally complete when he'd forget her and find someone new. As though she'd really miss his pining at her and desperate antics.

But she had to admit, they _were _quite entertaining.

* * *

"James, we want to help," chorused Sirius and Remus seriously. Peter, who was busy finishing his Herbology essay, nodded vaguely without looking up from the paper. Sprawled on the couch was James, his face buried in a pillow. He knew that nothing would change, that Lily would hate him forever. But he had to try.

"You can't help," James groaned, his voice muffled by the pillow. "It's hopeless."

"And since when have you started listening to Lily?" Sirius demanded, throwing a pillow to rouse his friend. The pillow hit James in the head, he James only jerked sideways and remained in his position.

"Tell us again what happened at Hogsmeade," Remus ordered, a sort of desperately manic gleam in his eye. Sirius stared at him, a little surprised that Remus – who was always the ones with the solutions – could look so desperate as to throttle Lily and James to get them together.

"I've told you twelve times already!" James whined. "It means nothing!"

"It means _everything_, James. She was actually being civilized to you, which is something. You're just too thick to see it," Remus amended brusquely. James looked up and sighed, ready to tell.

"Fine, fine. I'll tell, but believe me, it means _nothing_."

"Just tell it already!" Sirius cried exasperatedly.

"We met up in Honeydukes. She was dressed up all neat and her hair was perfect, as always. She seemed pretty grumpy and reluctant and snapped at everything I said. She joked about how I tried to comb my hair and I told her she was all tidied up too. She was surprised. So we started talking and... that's it."

He dunked his head into his pillow again, sighing ruefully.

Sirius and Remus shook their heads in unison disbelievingly.

"Come now, Prongs, you know that's not it. Try to remember _everything,_ James!" Sirius cried, staring pointedly at James. James looked up and stared ahead at nothing in particular. Suddenly, his hazel eyes brightened and a small smile quirked on his lips.

"Well, there was one thing..."

"_What?_" chorused Sirius and Remus, who seemed dead intent on this. They were hoping against hope that this Lily and James ordeal would be over soon, since it was causing everyone a lot of time and effort. No one said it would be easy. All this they hid from James and Lily both.

"I called her a spitfire, and she told me '_That was probably the best compliment you told me all day_' or something like that and I..."

"_You what??_" persisted Remus impatiently.

"I practically poured out my heart to her. I told her I get nervous around her, that she is the most fiery and beautiful girl I know, and that she looks the best when she's furious. And she went all meek and quiet and when I hugged her, she hugged me back."

James grinned delightedly; that was the only time they had shared a tender moment, and he treasured the moment very much. When he had wondering time to kill, he played it over and over in his head like a movie. And it brought him marvel and bliss each time.

Sirius and Remus were staring at him, and then each grinned. Condescendingly. James knew what kind of smile that was and he knew what they were thinking. But he also knew that that was practically impossible. Lily would never give him a chance, and the odds of her admitting that she would like him by some miracle were worse.

His grin faltered; the reality was that Lily would never be his. Never.

"Wow, James. I didn't know she was capable of being so sensitive to you," laughed Sirius. Remus joined in, but James still wore his dismal expression.

"Yeah," he said, sadness leaking into his voice. "Yeah."

* * *

Four of the sixth-year Gryffindor girls were getting tired and feeling ready to flop onto their beds and sleep, except for Lily. Eleanor and Ramona were already sleeping and Phyllis and Mona were already settling into their beds. Only Lily was truly awake, active and aching for something to do. She turned her bright, emerald eyes on her two best friends as they each slid into their beds, eyes drooping and lips smacking.

"You two are tired? Already?"

Mona slipped under her bedcovers and let out a huge sigh, her eyes shutting instantaneously. Phyllis, however, paid mind to Lily's question and turned to stare incredulously at her nocturnal friend.

"And you aren't?"

"No. I need something to do... do you remember any essay that needs doing?"

"There's McGonagall's Transparency Spell essay. And to practice the actual spell, of course."

Lily groaned loudly enough to make Mona poke out her head from under her blanket to scowl at Lily. Curling up under her bed sheets again, she snorted cynically and went back to sleep.

"Why does it have to be Transfiguration?" Lily asked, more quietly this time.

"It's not that bad, Lils."

"Transfiguration is evil, Phyllis. You know it is."

Phyllis gave a small laugh before tucking herself into her blanket. Lily stared thoughtfully at her hands before getting up to leave for the common room.

_At least she could get this stupid essay over and done with_, she thought bitterly, quietly gliding out of the girls' dorm and softly shutting the door behind her. Wondering how on earth she would finish a roll and a half of parchment on rubbish about Transparency Spells, she stopped short at the sound of three boys' voices in the common room.

James, Sirius, and Remus. But most importantly, James.

She was close enough to hear their conversation clearly, but far enough to be out of their sight. She was just about to call their attention when she heard one of the boys say, "Lily." The sound of her own name made her freeze, suddenly curious about what they were saying about her.

If it were anything rude or indecent, she'd have each of their heads on a skewer. Biting her lip vigorously, she darted behind the wall in the dorms' staircase and strained her hearing for more.

"Lily can be like that, James," Remus was saying consolingly, although impatience was clear in his voice. "You know she doesn't hate you. She just has something against... _proud_ people, is all."

Lily's eyebrows zipped up at the emphasized 'proud'. Proud wasn't the word. It wasn't near enough to suit her.

_More like conceited and egotistical_, she thought spitefully. James snorted in response to Remus' statement.

"Come on, Remus... you know she hates me. She'll never have me and she hates my guts. She hates me."

"Stop wallowing, you big lug," Sirius said edgily, yawning at the last syllable. "Remus, are you going to stay up all night trying to comfort this fat baby or do something worthwhile? Like sleep, for example."

"If I can get this over with at all, the sooner the better," Remus snapped intolerantly. Sirius blinked, then nodded in agreement.

"True. True."

The three boys were silent for a moment, until Sirius yawned again. As though that posed as the cue for conversation, Remus started talking again.

"So what are you going to do, James?"

James was silent. Lily's stomach fluttered with the thought of whatever James would do. She didn't know why, but she was suddenly a bit nervous, her mind jumping from one possibility to the other. She knew James was past fed up, although he was smart enough to hide it. She knew she drove him crazier than he drove her. She knew that he knew the only possibility that would allow peace between them, even if Lily suddenly dreaded it.

"James, come to your senses, she doesn't want – " Sirius began harshly, before James cut him off.

"I know, Sirius, but it's hard."

Lily's stomach writhed.

"Please, James, this is all very exhausting for us, and we would like some peace from your private affairs with Lily. I know you can't help it, but you drag us into every single one of your issues. We have lives too," Remus pleaded.

"I'm sorry Remus, but I know that if I give up now..." James shook his head, too lost in thought to speak. Lily swallowed, biting her lip and mentally begging him to go on. She didn't know why but Lily could've sworn that if he did move on... she'd miss him.

"At least I still have a chance while I still try. I'm sorry, but when a girl catches your heart as horribly as this," and James gave a very forced laugh that made Lily's skin prickle, "it's hard to let go. I'm not giving up, and whether or not she likes it, she has to deal with it."

Remus and Sirius were silent. They knew better than to try to change James' mind when it was so set, knew better than to try to counter his ideas when he was in his element.

Then, without warning, the three boys stood up and set off in the direction of the dorms' staircase. Lily sucked in her breath and bounded up the stairs, not even bothering to be quiet.

She knew the Marauders had heard her, but she didn't care. If they caught her, they'd have her neck. Slipping surreptitiously into her dorm, and while sinking into her bed, thoughts ran through her mind like a movie.

But only one stood out in her head, enough to cause her exhaustion and relief at the same time:

_He wasn't giving up_.

Her last conscious thought before slipping instantaneously into sleep was that he'd never go away.

She didn't know exactly how to feel about that.

**A/N**: ::gets pelted with rotten tomatoes:: I know this has been a pointless chapter, but it has purpose! And it adds fluff, so I'm not one to complain... I'm just glad that my best friend Kay (HI KAY! ::waves frantically::) enjoys it.

I aim for at least three reviews... come on, people, that's all I ask! But no one's stopping you at five...


	5. Flowers and Candy

**Disclaimer: **JKR's is JKR's. Mine is mine. Read it, remember it, live it.

**A/N:** 17 reviews in total... wwooooww... ::hands out Ice Mice to the reviewers:: Thanks!

moonlizard – Hehe, I agree... way to go, Prongs! But don't worry, this is truly, most definitely, and unquestionably an L/J fic, no matter how otherwise it would seem.

DeoxyriboNucleic Acid – Yes, I have rued making James seem so sugary in the past chapters. But these are probably the most sentimental chapters in all the plot, so for those soft-hearted readers out there, enjoy them. I agree that I probably killed all of James masculinity, but again, he'll be less sensitive in the chapters to come. And don't worry, James isn't stupid and I have no intention whatsoever of bringing his IQ down in the slightest bit... although you know he becomes incredibly gullible around Lily without any of my strong doses of sugar. I beg barrels of pardon for this, really I do, and he will be harder in the next chapters, really. I appreciate your honesty :)

allie – Thanks! I'm glad it was very informative and eventful. The rest will be just as busy, if not more.

Babigirl2246 – You reviewed again! ::hands you extra Ice Mice:: I was aiming for insightful, hopefully, and you don't know how relieved I am that it came out like that. Please forgive me for this, but James will be tougher, since I am worried that his masculinity is vanishing because of me. And I also beg pardon of Lily's many issues... unless you enjoy them. I honestly can't say I don't... hehehe.

Babigirl2246 – Two reviews... ::hands you more Ice Mice and Chocolate Frogs:: I am running out of candy, lol. I love reading your reviews since they're so consistent, so if I keep it up, will you?

A few mornings after, Lily woke up instantaneously when someone savagely threw back her the curtains around her bed, allowing the bright morning light to affect her. There was a great fuss about how Lily can never wake up in the mornings without any drastic acts that included Mona and Phyllis and a little of bit Eleanor's sarcastic remarks before Lily stuck her tongue out at all of them and reluctantly slipped out of bed.

"Don't drag your feet, Lily-poo," Mona smirked. Lily threw her a dirty look and deliberately inched slowly to the bathroom before the other four girls graciously took the time and effort to just push her to there. The sooner, the better.

"She is impossible," Ramona said grimly, shaking her head. "Couldn't have said it any better," contributed Eleanor.

"You know what's impossible?" Phyllis said suddenly. "Her issues with James."

All four girls exchanged dark looks. They constantly brought it up at the most random times, especially when Lily and James weren't around. From what little they've heard, they guessed that Sirius, Remus, and Peter were no different about it.

"James is still avoiding her?" Mona said. Ramona and Eleanor nodded, but Phyllis was thoughtful. The blonde grimaced at Ramona and Eleanor and gave a more lengthy answer.

"I wouldn't call it avoiding, Mona. He's just... not being his usual around her. He gets cheeky and persistent around her usually, but now he treats her no different than he treats us. He's not _avoiding_ her, alright?" Phyllis insisted, to the chagrin of the other three girls who thought differently.

"Fine," Mona repaired, nettled. "He's not so different around her anymore. What should we call that?"

A thoughtful silence from Phyllis.

"He's..." she struggled, tapping her foot unconsciously. "He's... just James around her, if you know what I mean. Just James. Usually, he's Stupid James around her. Now he's just James. And... yeah."

This raised eyebrows among Mona, Eleanor, and Ramona but they stayed quiet. "Just James," mumbled Mona, trying to see if she could get used to it.

Before anyone else could say another word, Lily strode in, freshly dressed and wearing a bright smile. After showers, Lily was always a bit... chipper... but this bothered no one. She never got mad when she was feeling _chipper_ and for this reason no one complained.

"Hey, girls," she said cheerily, beaming at all of them. "Whatcha talking about?"

Ramona opened her mouth to give a smooth lie (she was always the best liar of them all) but Phyllis stopped her by asking unexpectedly, "Mona, what's that under your bed?"

All the other girls turned to look intently at her before simultaneously turning to look at Mona's bed. Indeed, the ruffle had been moved and something had been slipped under it roughly. Mona frowned and pulled whatever was there from under her bed, but then sucked in her breath as she pulled off the brown paper covering the items.

There was a four-pack of Butterbeer accompanied by thick caramel cubes, with a small, waterless vase of blooming irises and marigolds, Mona's favorite combination of flowers. She admired how the cool purple complimented the vivid gold, but this was not known by anyone out of Gryffindor. And Mona certainly had no suitor out of Gryffindor, since she rarely flirted outside of her House. A defect that is barely noticed.

The five Gryffindor girls stared at them, half amused (well, except for Mona) and half marveling at how any boy could've gotten in the girls' dorms. Unless the person _wasn't_ a boy, but they weren't going to get into that. For the sake of decency.

Mona cleared her throat quite audibly, her dark eyes never leaving the bouquet and treats, and she tilted her head in wonder.

"Uh, does anyone here have any clue how these got here?"

The shakes of their heads were alarmingly simultaneous.

Lily's lips cracked into a taunting smile.

"Ooooh, Mona's got an admirer... have you been flirting lately, Mo?" This jerked laughs out of Phyllis, Ramona, and Eleanor, but Mona said nothing. For once in her life. Better yet, her tan cheeks blushed a little as she gently picked at the bouquet in thought.

"But really, how could anyone have gotten in here?" Eleanor mused. Lily shrugged in puzzlement and Phyllis shook her head. Ramona was thoughtfully silent, however, much like Phyllis was when discussing how James was presently like around Lily.

"They would have to be extremely clever, to know how to do stuff like that," Ramona said finally. Eleanor raised her eyebrows skeptically, probably about to say something sarcastic.

"Nah, really, Ramona? They'd have to be a dolt to get in, it's that easy..." Eleanor grinned broadly. Ramona scowled.

"There's a note," Lily voiced, reaching for a sheaf of parchment that was laying unnoticed under Mona's bed. It was folded in two, to hide its contents, which consisted only of a single paragraph in a hurried scrawl. Mona snatched it so fast from Lily's fingers that it nearly left a papercut.

Mona read it silently to herself, paled and flushed furiously, then handed it wordlessly to Lily, a small smile tugging at her lips. Lily took it with great gusto and read it aloud, with Phyllis, Ramona, and Eleanor clambering eagerly behind her.

"_My Mona Lisa, Grand Masterpiece of Da Vinci,_

_Okay, that was pathetic. But I can't think of anything else, so I'm leaving it at that. I hope you liked the candy and flowers and Butterbeer. Never mind how I figured out about your liking for those. I can't pen how I got in your dorm either, since it's a very useful secret,_" – eyebrows were raised at this – "_but if you want to meet me, be at the Three Broomsticks on the next Hogsmeade date at 3 o'clock. You're probably itching to see me,_" – there were definitely some snorts of amusement there – "_and I must confess that can't wait to see you. Tell no one of this, unless the other girls are reading over your shoulder. Which I bet you a Galleon they are._

_Forever yours,_

_A Very Secret, Handsome, and Creative Admirer_."

"He doesn't even bother to be modest," Phyllis said with amusement the instant Lily finished reading.

"_A very useful secret_?" Ramona quoted, her eyebrows still raised. "Can he be more perverted?"

"Mona Lisa, Masterpiece of Da Vinci!" Eleanor laughed out loud, howling with mirth.

Lily was quiet, shaking her head and smiling as though her amusement couldn't be express in a more perfect way than that. All eyes turned to Mona, imploring and taunting.

"Are you going?" Lily inquired sweetly, blinking innocently. Her eyes spoke differently, however.

Mona squirmed uncomfortably, biting her lip. She usually didn't mind being in the hot seat, charismatic and unaffected as she was, but situations like these were of a different matter. And Mona treated it so.

"Depends, really. He seems like a git, but he sounds fun, but he still sounds like a great prat, and I don't know what to do, because I'll probably make an arse of myself with this guy, but what if this is just a joke? Then that'll be a nightmare, and I don't wanna risk it, but not taking this chance is maybe losing a future or something – "

She cut off when Lily deliberately threw a pillow at her, to end her uneasy rambling. This ordeal was certainly _already_ making an arse of Mona, since she was always so reassured about what she was doing and always found a way to deal with the consequences of any wrong decisions.

"Mona, _relax_! Just go, and we'll follow from behind and if he tries anything we'll protect you, or if it was a joke, you'll be avenged. Just... take this chance, and we'll see what goes on from here."

The other girls nodded vigorously in agreement. For a long stretch of time, Mona was quiet, before flushing and staring defiantly at the floor.

"Can I be honest with you guys?"

Ramona, Eleanor, Phyllis, and Lily all nodded in unison.

"Don't hold a grudge, but... I don't want you there."

This had quite an impact; Ramona and Eleanor blinked, offended. But Lily and Phyllis felt worse, as Mona's best friends. Phyllis frowned, uncomprehendingly or disbelievingly it was hard to tell. Lily flushed and her lush lips tightened into a stern line. They were supposed to be trusted with anything, supposed to help Mona is any way possible. But here she was, refusing them as though she didn't know them well enough. They did not expect this, or anything close.

"Well, fine," Ramona said, scandalized. "Whatever suits you, Bishop. We just thought it fit to offer, you know, but if you prefer otherwise... whatever suits you."

Mona barely had any time to breathe before Ramona and Eleanor rose and trudged out of the dorm, whispering urgently as they shut the door.

"You're... sure you don't want us there?" Phyllis said quietly, uncertain and hurt. Lily still said nothing. There was an awkward silence, which Mona broke by getting up and forcing a laugh.

"I've really got to go, it's lunch, see you later." And she disappeared behind the door as she scuttled out.

Phyllis and Lily exchanged looks, the same thoughts rushing through their minds.

Mona didn't talk to anyone all day, and the little of her that her House saw was subdued and thoughtful. James couldn't begin to wonder what in Merlin's name could get her so quiet, since she was rarely like this. The last time she had been like this was when her parents died... but James refused to think of that fiasco. Lily wouldn't talk to him for a week after that. He didn't think he would survive.

But his answer came sooner than expected. And less pleasantly, too.

After dinner, he and the rest of the Marauders all headed to the common room, to find a Lily who liked ready to throttle someone. Seeing her less-than-amiable mood, Sirius and Remus and Peter all surreptitiously (in a way) scurried to their dorm, while James was the only one brave enough to talk to her. He had faced worse... unless she decided to set him on fire. Then he would call it a tie.

"Lily?" he asked carefully, watching her mope on the couch. She didn't look up at him, or acknowledge her awareness of his presence in any way. James tried again.

"Are you okay?"

"What do you care?" she shot back, still staring defiantly at the carpet as though hoping it'd burst into flame.

"You and Mona weren't talking to each other today... can I ask why?"

"If you don't mind looking like hell just paid you a visit, then you can ask."

James flinched; whenever Lily said stuff like that, she never kidded. He learned that the hard way.

"Just thought I'd ask... she hasn't received any bad news lately, has she?"

"Oh, no. It wasn't her. More like us, really."

"From who?" James demanded, suddenly desiring to strangle whoever made Lily this upset. Lily turned and arched an eyebrow his way, until James rolled his eyes. "I won't kill anyone. But I won't promise any new patients in the Hospital Wing either."

Her emerald eyes went round, almost angry. "No, James! Don't lay a hand on her. You hurt her and you ruin all your chances with me. Every single little possibility..."

A sort of outraged noise emitted from James's throat, accompanied by a mortified expression. He could practically see the _possibilities_ fluttering out of the window, their delightful little children giggling their way out. He wanted to fling something at Lily for the insufferable little smile she wore. She was finding this entertaining. _Entertaining._

"Not a hand on her," Lily repeated, with a smug grin.

_Her?_

"MONA made you guys this upset?"

Lily's lips tightened into a thin line and her glare was now with icy strictness. James heaved a sigh.

"Fine. I'll leave her alone. But what's the matter?" He sat on the couch beside her, while she stared at the floor, frowning with a little furrow between her eyebrows.

Lily shrugged half-heartedly. Comprehension dawned over James, and after increasing his hazel eyes he remained a little shell-shocked. He couldn't have... he had talked about it often, but he _couldn't have_.

Not when Lily was actually talking to him civilly! That boy was ruining all his chances with her _intentionally_, James was sure. The thought made him grit his teeth.

"Did she... receive any gift?"

The message took a while to get to Lily, whose eyes on the floor widened. Her head whipped up and she glared at him accusingly and dumbfounded.

"That was _you_!?"

Anger heated up in James, warming the back of his neck. How could she make such a misconception? Was that even possible? Him falling for a girl who wasn't Lily? And one of Lily's _best friends_!?

If that didn't insult him to no end...

"Lily! How could you even think that? You're the only girl for me," he finished dramatically, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She paused, relieved, for a second that almost made him believe that his arm could remain where it was, until she shrugged it off impatiently.

_Spitfire_.

"You know?"

James hesitated for a second; he knew he would never forgive him if he told, but this was Lily. _Lily Evans_. The girl he's chased for forever, and is still chasing now. He couldn't keep anything from her if he wanted a chance.

He leaned in and whispered something in her ear. When he leaned back, Lily was barely breathing and looked as if James had swung a metal weight into her face. Slack-jawed, she mouthed something too quiet to be legible.

James nodded, understanding Lily's shock. The redhead leaned back in her chair and sighed, her head lolling onto one shoulder, her green eyes staring into the fire.

Mona could never guess who it was.

**A/N:** Bwahahahaha! Very evil cliffhanger there... yeah. School is currently wearing me out like a prune, so I'm writing in all the spare minutes of the day. And Hurricane Frances (I live in Florida, to let you know) gave me no chance to go online, so I had to content myself with merely brainstorming, which becomes steadily irritating after doing it with any chance to write it out. Hurricane Ivan is coming up soon (Oh, joy!) so I'm trying to finish as much as I can... ::checks notes and sighs mournfully::... which won't be a lot.

Reviews are, of course, recommended. And desired. And welcomed.


	6. Needing to Scream

**Author's Note:** No time for responses, sorry! Or excuses! Just read, and review, and be done with it! **

* * *

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**Chapter 6: A Secret Admirer

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**Ramona Franworth's POV:**

Ever since the day Mona found that bundle under her bed, strange things have been going on. Nothing too bad, but just subtle things. Eleanor and I didn't really talk to Mona after that, but we still noticed the differences. After all, we were her Gryffindor roommates. Every time we saw her, she was going on about how she simply _adores_ marigolds and irises, or else she'd be thinking aloud about who her secret admirer was.

And every time Lily was there listening to her, something would indicate Lily's uneasiness. Eleanor noticed it too, but typically, she didn't care. Phyllis would listen patiently to Mona's ramblings too, so we guessed that she probably already forgave Mona – she was often too forgiving for her own good. Lily's behavior, however, was interesting enough. When Mona got started on a rambling, Lily would always frown uneasily and busy herself, or find an excuse to not listen. She even snapped at Mona one day for talking about it too much, but Mona dismissed it as mood swings. I didn't think so. It was certainly something else. Eleanor may not care, but I did.

We were in the common room once, Eleanor, Mona, Phyllis, Lily, and myself, discussing the upcoming Hogsmeade date. Mona had made no move whatsoever to signal the idea that she regretted not having us there, so Eleanor and I sat in our own corner of the room while Lily and Phyllis spoke with the ravenhead. We were close enough, however, to listen in.

"You'll still be seeing that conceited git then," Lily was grumbling, her eyes intent on the fireplace. Mona frowned but didn't snap back.

"Of course she is," Phyllis insisted. "Why wouldn't she? And he sounds nice enough, if a bit cocky. We could wait in the common room for you Mo, if you want," she added to Mona. At that moment, Eleanor turned to me, wearing an incredulous look.

"Will you believe it, Ramona," she asked dubiously, watching Phyllis with an uneasy eye. "She's already forgiven Mona, even when Mona disregarded her kindness." She shook her head in mild disbelief. I smirked, amused at Eleanor's wonder.

"It's called a best friend, Harper." I grinned indulgently at her. She snorted and mock-smiled sweetly at me over the table.

"Yes, Franworth, I am aware of their friendship. Still, not all best friends are stupid, you know," she snapped bitingly at me. I raised my eyebrows, but this was all just play. Eleanor and I always bickered playfully when we were in the mood, and evidently this is how we became best friends. And moreover, we used each other's surnames when squabbling.

"Forgiving," I corrected for her, turning my attention back to Mona, Lily, and Phyllis. "Not all best friends are forgiving."

Eleanor scoffed, but I paid no attention. Lily was wearing a clearly worried expression, and Mona was wearing one that showed evident displeasure. I strained my hearing to hear their conversation.

"Please, Mo," Lily was pleading to no avail. "Don't get _too _carried away. You can't trust guys, and that's why people who marry face a great risk. You don't know what kind of guy this is."

A furrow developed in Mona's brow, and she bit her bottom lip. "You don't know this guy either, Lily, so I don't see why you'd be warning me like this. Trust me, and trust him."

I saw a brightening in Lily's eyes, and I noticed fear in the way she decided not to say anymore. It was too obvious, really. Still, Mona was too angry to realize that Lily _knew_. In the way Lily looked at her when Mona spoke… Lily _knew._ And I realized something more; and suddenly I feared for Mona. Lily knew who Mona's secret admirer was, and by the way she worried about Mona, it wasn't someone so prone to commitment.

* * *

**Hogsmeade (Third-Person Narrator)**

October 15, Hogsmeade morning, dawned crisp and full of foreboding for Mona and Lily. Phyllis, however, began the day blissfully unaware of the drama stirring among the Gryffindor sixth-year girls and had looked forward to Hogsmeade with a feeling of happiness on Mona's behalf. Mona had woken early then, waking Lily and Phyllis early as well, and had been brighter than they had ever witnessed her. She took a quick shower (Lily could've sworn she heard Mona singing – and Mona wasn't that bad) and had even put her straight, black hair into a neat ponytail, with a single gracious strand trailing down at the side of her face.

It would be an understatement to say that Lily was worried.

When Mona had finished her shower, she asked Phyllis and Lily if they wanted to go down with her to breakfast, but Lily had refused. Phyllis then noticed that something bothered Lily, and had tried asking what was wrong more than once, but she always got the same answer: "Worried? What? How could I be worried, especially today? Why do you think I'm worried? I'm not worried! Very happy I am, yes, not worried!" (Yes, she always got an answer just like that, or something to that extent.)

So, apparently, Phyllis knew for a near-fact that Lily was, indeed, worried.

Breakfast that morning was noticeably different from its usual routine. Lily had breakfast seated between Eleanor and Ramona, as she had successfully avoided Mona – and lucky for her, Mona was too nervous to care. Too many thoughts preoccupied her mind, and she felt it all too important to take note of each thought, just to be cautious.

Her thoughts: what if it was a joke, a big prank played on her by some Slytherins? Wait, were the Slytherins smart enough to get into the girls' dorm? If they were, they'd have to be Ravenclaws… then what if it was a joke pulled by some Slytherins and one Ravenclaw? But then how did they get the Gryffindor common room password? So then a _Gryffindor_ was in it too… Mona gasped, startling Phyllis.

"Phyllis, do I have enemies in Gryffindor?" Mona asked frantically, staring at the people seated at her table with a sort of panicky look. Phyllis stared at her at first, and then sighed exasperatedly.

"_How many times.._" the blonde began, gritting her teeth, and then instantaneously she calmed, taking up her sweet patience again – or something resembling it. "You have no enemies, Mona Pristina, in our House, and most likely this is _not_ a joke. Nor is it a shot at revenge, because if this person's idea of revenge is hooking someone up with yet another someone, then that person needs some lessons in retaliation."

Phyllis bit into a butter-coated crumpet with a tiny sigh. Mona glared at her, seething.

"Don't you sigh at me, Miss Shirley Temple, miss. And don't use my middle name again." It wasn't really the sigh that angered her; really, it was more of Phyllis's use of Mona's sophisticated middle name.

Phyllis glowered in response and scoffed. "I am NOT a Shirley Temple; I still find it amazing that she managed to further degrade herself with a song of animal crackers in soup. Really. And I sighed because the crumpet tasted good, not because you had your knickers in a knot. Why would I waste my breath on that?"

A glare-filled silence, which also served as a sorry excuse for peace.

Eleanor broke it with her jubilant, whooping laugh, sending several people at their table into a perplexed silence. Heads turned, eyes stared.

"Hmm… Lily seems to be rather jumpy today, doesn't she? And worried out of her mind too… accuse her of being worried and you'll see what I mean," Phyllis said, looking over at Lily's direction. Because Lily sat right beside Eleanor, people were bound to notice how she smiled sheepishly on Eleanor's behalf.

"And this is new…?" Mona drawled, pouring herself another glass of iced pumpkin juice. Phyllis turned and gave Mona that falsely innocent look; that look was trademark to Phyllis, and while it allowed Phyllis to ask any question she desired while seeming innocent, it was a cute face that guys constantly found attractive.

However, it just annoyed Mona and Lily to no end.

"What do you want?" Mona snapped, narrowing her eyes. Phyllis shrugged lightly and continued on with that vague, questioning look. The ravenhead did her best to ignore this penetrating stare, and just when it seemed like she could actually finish her breakfast in an artificial sort of peace, Phyllis broke the silence with a question; the question was just as vague as her look.

"Why would you think that Lily is always so worried?"

"Because Lily is Lily. She is someone who finishes her essays the day they're given, someone who screams bloody murder at her roommates when she's missing a sock, someone who labels everything on her bloody side of the room. Does that sound worried enough to you, or do I need to describe that manic paranoia/obsession phase thing she went through last year?"

"She's avoiding us now, I hope you noticed."

"I noticed."

"And you don't mind?" Phyllis's eyebrows shot up, her cerulean eyes dulling with confusion.

"No, not really; she might need her space, or just some time to breathe… or maybe she's having those mood swings of hers. I didn't ask. Could be James though… ask him if he tried to kiss her in a broom closet again or something. Then that'll explain it."

The blonde wrinkled her nose distastefully at Mona's bluntness, but somehow she honestly couldn't bring herself to argue with this. Ludicrous as this sounded, Mona could be right; the whole secret-admirer thing did seem to bring Lily to an all-new, record-breaking level of anxiety, so maybe Lily just needed time to herself. And Ramona and Eleanor, since the two were endless fun.

Still… there was a sense of worry in Lily that Phyllis had never seen before (or not).

"I still think she's worried about something in particular," Phyllis said doggedly, her expression lofty. "I've taken note of almost every level of unease Lily's been through, and this one definitely doesn't occur on a regular basis."

Mona smirked. "Every level of unease? Hmm… that bored, weren't you?"

Phyllis glared and almost accidentally-on-purpose spilled pumpkin juice on the front of Mona's school robes. _Almost_.

_No_, Phyllis thought with a hint of sarcastic sweetness. _I am too nice for that._

Both girls ended their playful bickering (well, most of it was playful) when the Marauders, led by a frustrated looking James Potter, made their way over to where Mona and Phyllis sat. The seats beside the two girls were occupied, of course, so James and Sirius were forced to remain standing.

For once, James didn't really seem to care how he made himself look. Although he really did improve his attitude (for Lily and Lily only, I might add), he was still a prick.

"Phyllis, Mona… I blame you!" he blurted, glaring behind his spectacles. Of course, it wasn't a scary glare, considering he wore glasses that squashed the impressive air. "Lily's not speaking to me, not even when I tried to ruffle her hair. Usually she whips out her wand and starts snapping, but she didn't even do that. What did you do?"

Phyllis and Mona stared at him indignantly; a crumpet dropped and two pairs of eyes glowered their worst.

"Oh yes, and we aren't suffering either, even if she is our best friend who refuses to talk to us… yes, life is harsh, isn't it? And _we_ are to blame…" Mona snapped impatiently, her tone thickly covered in sarcasm.

James' brow relaxed and his frown faded; but it wasn't replaced by a smile. "She isn't talking to you two either? Then why is she over there with Remora and Eliana?"

"Well, it's only a theory, but we think she uses them to relax her nerves. You know she was born a nervous wreck. I don't know how RAMONA and ELEANOR calm her though; their endless bickering can drive anyone up the wall."

Sirius, who was standing behind James, sniggered and raised his eyebrows; this act made several girls nearby – who were caught up in the process of beholding his oh-so-godliness – take in a sharp breath.

He looked good when he was cynical.

"And you and Phyllis don't? Bicker, I mean." Sirius said, smirking.

"Well, we do… it's just not over other people's heads."

James and Sirius gave her identical that's-what-you-think looks, and shrugged.

"We won't say anything," James contributed.

Suddenly, something lit up Sirius' face, and his eyes darted fervently towards Mona. However, when he spoke, he spoke to all.

"So are you all going to Hogsmeade in a bit?" he questioned suddenly, making James' eyes widen and turn into angry little slits behind wire-framed glasses. "Seeing as it's Hogsmeade weekend and all, and it doesn't happen everyday,"

A hot blush suddenly made its way to Mona's cheeks, flushing her normally fair face into a light pink.

"Erm, yes, actually. Phyllis is going over to Honeydukes to restock her candy collection, and I'll be by the Three Broomsticks. No idea what Lily's doing, though."

James' shining eyes dulled. "Dammit."

Mona shrugged in apology.

Their conversation (if you could call it that) ended when Phyllis eagerly rushed Mona (correction: dragged) out of the Hall; she was mumbling about needing more Chocolate Frogs and Drooble's Best Blowing Gum and something about not wanting to be around any pricky warts. Somehow, Mona had a feeling that she didn't mean James.

As they walked away (well, one did, anyway) Sirius stared after a particular one with a steady gaze. He fell silent and a sad sort of aura surrounded him. James and Remus (not Peter – he wasn't perceptive enough) noticed this and silenced, leaving Sirius to his thoughts.

She just _had _to bring Phyllis, didn't she?

* * *

It was a breezy, chilly day – the kind of weather that didn't promise the best for the hopeful. Phyllis and Mona had decided to take their scarves with them, and try as they might, they just couldn't persuade Lily to join them. Whenever they asked, she'd frown and say no in that obstinate way that everybody hated. Well, everybody except James. James loved everything about the redhead, stubborn or no.

"No, no, and no. It's too cold outside and I have homework to do. And prefect duties. You two can go, but I'm saying here." Lily had repeated this excuse countless times until the blonde and ravenhead just groaned in exasperation.

Shrugging, the two made their way to the Entrance Hall, signed out, and strolled to Hogsmeade.

As they walked, Phyllis asked quite tentatively, "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

A dark flush came to Mona's cheeks, for the second time today. It was rather odd, really, seeing Mona blush this often, but amusing nonetheless.

"No, that's all right, Phyllis. I'll handle this myself. You can go off to Hogsmeade now, and I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks later." Mona managed a meek smile. _She should get an award for that_, thought Phyllis. _She can still speak with diplomacy while nervous. I don't think that's possible for me. Lily's pretty at that too, come to think of it._

"Are you sure?" Phyllis asked again, her darling blue eyes sad.

Mona looked back with a shadowed smile, her raven eyes just as sad. "Yes, I'm sure. But thanks anyway."

The two hushed, and uncomfortable tension fell between them. Phyllis was forgiving, but she was emotional; speaking simply, she was still hurt. And what made everything all the more odd and distressing was the fact that Mona didn't change her mind. Mona didn't really need them, did she?

With a curt nod and a tight smile, Phyllis turned and walked off. Mona did not react, but watched her walk away. Then she turned and made her way to the Three Broomsticks, lost in thought and – occasionally – daydreams.

_This guy had better be worth it._

When Mona arrived at the Three Broomsticks, there was only the mild crowd of students milling in and out of the facility. Nobody – most especially no boy – deliberately hung around the entrance, as though waiting for somebody in particular to arrive. Mona's heart fell, and suddenly she grew pessimistic. She glanced at her watch.

_3:05._

Oh, cripes. And Mona thought herself late. What if it was a joke, and she really did fall for it? Mona glanced hastily around, and when she saw that nobody appearing to be watching her, she still remained unconvinced.

Why, oh, why did she have to be so _weak_? Whenever somebody told her she was pretty in a light way, she'd smirk and say that perhaps they should worry about themselves first. Whenever somebody said she was pretty in a sincere way, her face would soften considerably and she'd say they didn't look so shabby themselves, complete with an affectionate gaze. Whenever somebody took the time to write a love letter, accompany the letter with flowers and candy and Butterbeer, and claim to be her secret admirer, she melted, becoming a moonstruck puppy who'd eagerly jump and roll through any ring.

Attempting to compose herself, she took a deep breath, but the one she exhaled was shallow. What if… but Mona shook the thoughts away. He'd come with a gift, her fears would prove for naught, she'd tease him about the goofy way he introduced himself, he'd charm her with a smooth reply, and they'd live happily ever after. There was nothing else to it.

Oh, but Mona simply _loved _being in control. She thought Lily's compulsive powers were bad, but Mona could rival her. Mona loved being the dominator.

But she could barely believe these optimistic whims. She grew paranoid and checked her watch so often that her neck grew sore. 3:15… 3:30… 4:05… 4:29…

By 4:40, Mona was ready to crack. Her head aching with self-disgust and exhaustion, she turned strictly on her heel and left the Three Broomsticks. She knew Phyllis would be arriving in a few minutes, but she barely cared. She wanted to stomp to her dorm, throw the curtains around her with great force, and just scream her heart out. She was so _stupid_.

This was not going to happen again.

But the next events came quickly: as Mona turned, somebody was opening the entrance, and the result was a bum-aching collision. Mona wasted no time in yelling at the stranger, and she didn't care when the stranger began yelling back, but as they took the time to stop rubbing their heads to look up, silence fell.

A roguish smile grew across Sirius' face, and Mona gagged.

"Oh, dear Merlin," Mona choked out, rubbing the back of her neck. "That was _you_?"

"'Course it was. Who were you expecting? Peter?" Sirius sneered. "And I meant the inner entrance, Mo. It's a bit stupid we waited for one another for nearly two hours, while we were just separated by a stupid glass panel the whole time. Do you agree?"

Mona grimaced. "Oh, don't play wise-crack with me, Siri. You made me fall on my bum; apologize to it." She narrowed her eyes, but the conversation was growing playful. The two were so immersed in thinking up retorts for one another that they didn't realize a small crowd of students forming at both outer and inner entrances. Mona and Sirius were blocking the doorways.

Sirius laughed, a sound like a playful dog's bark. "That's the first time I've ever heard that."

Mona made a 'hmph' noise under her breath. "And it won't be the last, I promise you."

Sirius raised his eyebrows in that cynical way of his, and then, his black-brown eyes softening a little, he handed her a tiny wrapped box with a silver silk ribbon tied around it. Mona, taken aback for she had never received a gift like this before, took it and opened it with shaking, careless fingers. Sirius grinned as she gaped in wonder at the gift inside.

"Merciful Merlin…" Mona breathed, taking out the thin, diamond-plated choker of silver. It, literally, took her breath away; even as a wealthy Pureblood, she had barely seen anything like this without it being behind a thick protection glass – let alone got a chance to own it. And it was a lovely idea as well. Necklaces or bracelets or rings were just too clichéd, and a silver choker was the perfect accessory for a formal occasion. Additionally, the price of such a bit of jewelry alone was enough to impress a woman. Mona wasn't shallow, but a gift like this often brought out the vanity in her, as it did to better women.

Still… it was so _weird_. Sirius had been such a good friend of Mona's – not a best friend, mind, but a really good friend nonetheless – and then he just had to hit her full-blast with a love letter, flowers, candy, a date, and a freakishly expensive choker. It wasn't healthy for their friendship, but maybe it could start something new. Yet… this wasn't what Mona had expected. And though it was much more pleasant than what she had imagined, it was not any easier.

Mona stroked the choker with a weightless touch, and she sighed regretfully. Startled, Sirius frowned and glanced at Mo, confused. Didn't she just like it? Why was she suddenly so disheartened? He had thought so hard on this, unlike the gifts he had given to other girls. Those "other girls" received necklaces and bracelets, but he had always saved the choker idea for someone special. It would be an understatement to say that he had hoped she'd enjoy it.

His heart sunk into his stomach.

"Siri…" Mona began in a weak voice, looking up at him with an odd look. "This is just so bizarre. You've been my friend for only Merlin knows how long… and now this? Why did you ask me out for today, Sirius?"

Needless to say, this completely blew Sirius' thoughts into a muddle of gunk. Women were completely unpredictable. This wasn't what he thought she'd say at all. Not in the least. She didn't look angry, but she wasn't so ecstatic either… rather, she was regretful. Merlin's beard, what does it take for a man to win a woman over?

"Well," Sirius began frankly, as though it were the most plain thing in the world. He was losing his ladies' charm, and he didn't even know it. "Isn't it obvious? I've liked you for a while, so I decided to just take a chance one day –"

He was cut off from his I-am-saying-a-load-of-crap-that-will-get-me-killed-and-I-don't-even-realize-it speech when somebody pushed through the protesting crowd. Mona and Sirius swerved around, and saw a figure making her way violently through the mob of angry spectators.

"Move it – MOVE IT! Yes, I'm talking to you! – I need to get through! I have to meet my friend – oh bugger it. Mo? Are you in the crowd?" Shoving two tiny little first-years aside with more force than was necessary, Phyllis' petite form made it past the rabble. Gaping at Mona, she turned her gaze and her jaw dropped upon the sight of Sirius. Revulsion was evident on her face.

"_Him?_" Phyllis inquired incredulously, her brilliant blue eyes dulling over with blazing anger. But she didn't need answer; Mona's noticeably magenta blush on her pale face was a more than satisfactory response.

"Phyl, you're not mad, are you?" Mona asked, her voice slightly pleading. It was the first time anyone had ever heard her talk with such a tone, since she always carried a proud sort of dignity and poise. It was something she had grown up with as a Pureblood.

Phyllis' face tightened and hardened until it resembled something carved out of stone. Her gaze crossed over Sirius for a final time, and something was different in her eyes. Anger, yes, and lots of it, but that wasn't all; they were sad, and heartbroken. Turning back to Mona, she shook her head, and straightened with no apparent effort.

"Angry? No. He's your admirer, and you two should be happy together. I was just… shocked, is all." A shadow fell over Phyllis' face, and the smile she put on was strained. Mona saw through it instantly. Although Phyllis tried, her nature just didn't allow her to hide her feelings correctly.

Guilt painted itself all over Mona's face, and she stared at Phyllis as the blonde turned on her heel and push back into the crowd. Of course, more puny little first-years fell over and the students decided they didn't need to be blocked from The Three Broomsticks just because of drama.

Mona gave Sirius a desperate look before they were pushed and trampled by the students.

* * *

Later in the common room, the portrait doors clanged open, and just as loudly, they clanged shut. A dark-haired figure stomped her way in, sighing and looking on the edge of tears. The day was so trying, and she felt so torn. What to do, what to do… it just had to be Sirius. Out of all the Gryffindor bachelors in Hogwarts, it just had to be him. How come it wasn't Remus, or even Peter?

Wait, no. Not Peter. Scratch that thought.

Throwing herself onto the Gryffindor couch, Mona began to scream, but it was empty. That was good. She kept on screaming.

She hadn't been tricked, and her frets and worries had been for naught. Still, nothing came out right. She still needed to scream.

* * *

**Author's Note: **While I was doing this, I was chatting to a newly-made friend, so had it not been for Kay's (my best friend) motivation (i.e. – threats, blackmail, etc.) this wouldn't have been completed. So give her credit, or I am a dead, cooked, grilled-with-some-basil-on-the-side salmon. 


End file.
